Pudding my best foot forward

I'm on a streak. Got into trouble again yesterday. Some of my online friends had been talking about banana pudding for weeks so I finally asked for the recipe. I gathered all of the ingredients and went to work. Here's the recipe:

2 packages of vanilla (I used banana) pudding
1 quart of milk
1 can of sweetened condensed milk
1 tub of Coolwhip
1 brick of creamcheese
3 bananas
Vanilla wafers

Dir: Combine ingredients (except for wafers and bananas) in blender at low speed until creamy.
Pour in bowl.
Slice in bananas, cover, and chill in refrigerator.
Spoon over crisp vanilla wafers.
Enjoy.
Watch thighs, mid section, and buttocks expand.
Get hollered at by all females in life who try it.

I slowly put all of the ingredients into the mixer except for one. I sort of dropped that brick of creamcheese right in, wondering how the appliance would deal with it. Big mistake. The bowl started violently shaking from the unbalanced addition, much like an asymmetric load in a washing machine. Everything started sloshing around and splattering. I grabbed for the control bar but slid it to "high" (I don't think I've ever used the mixer before) instead of "off". That's when the pudding hit the fan, the eruption occured, and the entire corner of the kitchen where I was working-myself included- was covered in a sticky, milky mess. Needless to say, it took a while to clean up. I ultimately got most of it into a huge bowl, cut up the bananas, covered it, and coaxed it into the refrigerator.
I also made "from scratch" pizza with whole wheat flour. The last time I had used yeast was when I grew it in microbiology class in college. It's amazing how quickly they start generating gas once you add them to water. The pizza was good. Great crust! Then came dessert. My bride said it was delicious but accused me of sabotaging her "diet" (She only weighs 110 lbs). I took the bowl to my daughter's house and gave her two thirds of it, but she joined forces with her mother.."You're a cardiologist..What were you thinking?" The only one who didn't give me grief was my grandson. He liked it. That was good enough for me.

Web