It's not over 'till the paperwork's done.

So I decided to go through the document. 63 pages. I wondered how large a team it was that hunkered down at the big conference table over at Headquarters one morning over coffee, bagels and doughnuts to forge this tour de force on the anvil of creativity. (Honk if you liked that image.) Do you think there's one guy (or gal) whose job it is to take what everyone writes and then translate it into something unintelligible?.. Hold on, folks- we can't start this until the specialist from 3-O (Office of Obfuscation) gets here. They certainly earned their money on this one. I learned a new word: Offerer. When I first saw this neologism I thought..this is how a drunk addresses a policeman: "Excuse me, Offerer..." In any case, there were many sub-paragraphs defined by number/letter combinations sprinkled liberally with decimal points. There were hyperlinks to documents that I'll need to fill out. The rules and regulations for confidentiality were outlined with great precision. I believe I'll need to be fingerprinted. I'll need to decide if I'm a minority applicant or not. I wonder if they do a background check? About 37 years ago, my friend Lee and I were exploring an abandoned underground missile base when the police suddenly appeared- making me wonder (in retrospect) if it was a truly deserted facility. Think there's an FBI file on that? You know, even if there is, I bet FBI and SSA computers can't talk to one another, so I suppose I'm safe. There were instructions on how many copies (both paper and electronic) need to be included. And there was a deadline-something a procrastinator desperately needs. Fortunately my bride is heavily invested in my getting this retirement job and will make sure I finish all the paperwork in a timely manner. Also one of the docs I know who works there called and offered to give me a hand with the application. Here we go..First I'll need my resume-Haven't had to look at that for 25 years...more to follow, I'm sure.

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